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Atul Bamne
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For Cricket lovers
The Black Caps take on the Men In Blue! #GoogleDoodle #CricketWithGoogle #IndvNZ
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Thank you for this great info. I was looking for this all around and finally found it here.
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I received all your files. I will check them at home liesurely and come back to you.
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Man's note to Tech Support:

Years ago I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. The new program began unexpected memory processing that took up a lot of resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity, such as Happy Hour 64, Golf 2.3, Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6. Girlfriend 7.0 ran smoothly with all of these applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help! : A Troubled User.

REPLY:
This is a very common problem that men complain about.
Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once Installed!
You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation. The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGISE.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.
Improper use of Wife 1.0 will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0! WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 36.24. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
Best of luck- Tech Support
 
Woman's note to Tech Support:
Last year, I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0, and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5. Much to my surprise, Husband 1.0 contained additional undesirable programs such as NDTV 5.0, Discovery 4.3, and ESPN 2.0. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix the problems, to no avail. What can I do?

REPLY:
First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Try installing Guilt 3.0. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. Remember, overuse of the above applications can cause a default to Grumpy Silence 2.5.
CAUTION: DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve performance - I personally recommend Tasty Food 3.0 and Loving Talk 7.7.
Good luck- Tech Support
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Atul Bamne

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Service Tax on ocean freight - Hard days for importers?
By Naval Kant Jha & Atul Bamne

IN this Finance Bill, Service tax is proposed to be levied on the transportation of goods by a vessel from outside India up to the customs station of clearance in India. The proposal perhaps has far reaching consequences to the importers who basically bear the freight charges either collected by shipping lines, forwarders etc. or pay to exporter situated outside India (prepaid charge). In both the situations, importer has to include the freight (ocean freight) in the CIF value of imported goods and pay the customs duty thereon. The effective date of levy of this service tax is 01.06.2016.
At present,service tax on such ocean freight is placed under negative list and, therefore, no service tax was payable on such freight element. Consequent upon the omission from the negative list, the person liable for payment of service tax would be the recipient of service in India; under Reverse Charge Mechanism.
Para 4.1(C ) of the D.O letter F.No. 334/8/2016 TRU dated 29-02-2016,clarifies the new levy as under:
"The entry in the Negative List that covers services by way of transportation of goods by an aircraft or a vessel from a place outside India up to the customs station of clearance [section 66D (p)(ii)] is proposed to be omitted with effect from 1.06.2016. Clause 146 of Finance Bill 2016 may please be seen in this regard. However such services by an aircraft will continue to be exempted by way of exemption notification [Not. No. 25/2012-ST, as amended by notification No. 09/2016-ST dated 1st March, 2016 refers]. The domestic shipping lines registered in India will pay service tax under forward charge while the services availed from foreign shipping line by a business entity located in India will get taxed under reverse charge at the hands of the business entity. The service tax so paid will be available as credit with the Indian manufacturer or service provider availing such services (subject to fulfillment of the other existing conditions). It is clarified that service tax levied on such services shall not be part of value for custom duty purposes.
In addition, Cenvat credit of eligible inputs, capital goods and input services is being allowed for providing the service by way of transportation of goods by a vessel from the customs station of clearance in India to a place outside India. Consequential amendments are being made in Cenvat Credit Rules, 2004 [Not. No. 23/2004-CE (N.T.), as amended by Sl. Nos. 2(b) and 5(h) of notification No. 13/2016-C.E. (N.T.) dated refers.]
(Clause 146 of the Bill refers)"
Thus, it is amply clear that the service tax has to be paid by a business entity located in India who receives services of transportation of goods in vessel from outside India. Although it is clarified that customs duty is not payable on the service tax amount, yet basic issueremains un-resolved as to how the value of taxable service will be determined in case where the transportation charges are pre-paid. In such cases, there may be situation when neither the agent nor the importer will be aware of the freight amount so as to determine the value of taxable services since the freight charges are paid by the exporter abroad. The same situation arises in case of outward freight paid by the entities in domestic "Door-step Delivery". In case of domestic home delivery unlike prepaid imports, the freight charges paid to transporters are available and, therefore, taxed at the hands of hiring entities.Contrary to this in case of "GHAR-POCH" (in Marathi meaning - Home Delivery of goods) by the exporters such freight actually paid or payable will not be ascertainable.
In this situation it is likely that the business entities who receive services of transportation of goods in vessels coming from outside India will face harrowing times unless specific modalities for determining value of taxable services are laid down.

(The authors are Superintendent, CEX& ST, Pune and the views expressed are strictly personal.)

(DISCLAIMER : The views expressed are strictly of the author and Taxindiaonline.com doesn't necessarily subscribe to the same. Taxindiaonline.com Pvt. Ltd. is not responsible or liable for any loss or damage caused to anyone due to any interpretation, error, omission in the articles being hosted on the sites)


http://www.taxindiaonline.com/RC2/inside2.php3?filename=bnews_detail.php3&newsid=26468
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Man's note to Tech Support:

Years ago I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. The new program began unexpected memory processing that took up a lot of resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity, such as Happy Hour 64, Golf 2.3, Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6. Girlfriend 7.0 ran smoothly with all of these applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help! : A Troubled User.

REPLY:
This is a very common problem that men complain about.
Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once Installed!
You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation. The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGISE.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.
Improper use of Wife 1.0 will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0! WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 36.24. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
Best of luck- Tech Support
 
Woman's note to Tech Support:
Last year, I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0, and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5. Much to my surprise, Husband 1.0 contained additional undesirable programs such as NDTV 5.0, Discovery 4.3, and ESPN 2.0. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix the problems, to no avail. What can I do?

REPLY:
First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Try installing Guilt 3.0. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. Remember, overuse of the above applications can cause a default to Grumpy Silence 2.5.
CAUTION: DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve performance - I personally recommend Tasty Food 3.0 and Loving Talk 7.7.
Good luck- Tech Support
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Atul Bamne

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MUMBAI - It is like mother to millions - Why ?

MUMBAI -

A friend says he loves MUMBAI because she is like mother to millions.

After all a mother is called MUM in English, BA in Gujarati and AI in Marathi.

Why worry MUM+BA+I.    

Agreed.
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King Arthur and the witch - A Very Good Reading ....
 
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered  him  his freedom, as long as he  could  answer a  very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.
 
The question - What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.
 
He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer. But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.
 
The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first. The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend! Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled  like  sewage,  made  obscene  noises,  etc.  He  had  never  encountered  such  a repugnant creature in all his life.
 
He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table.
 
Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's question thus: What a woman really wants, she answered....is to be in charge of her own life! Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.
 
The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened
 
The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half. Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day...or night?
 
Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments?
 
Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself. Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because  he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.
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When you take a long time, you’re slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he’s thorough.

When you don’t do it, you’re lazy.
When your boss doesn’t do it, he’s too busy.

When you make a mistake, you’re an idiot.
When your boss makes a mistake, he’s only human.

When you take a stand, you’re being bull-headed.
When your boss does it, he’s being firm.

When you’re out of the office, you’re wandering around.
When your boss is out of the office, he’s on business.

When you have one too many drinks at a social, you’re a drunken bum.
When your boss does the same, he appreciated women.

When you’re on a day off sick, you’re always sick.
When your boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill.

When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.
When your boss applies for leave, it‘s because he’s overworked.
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