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Anthony Burke
Works at WSI Digital Marketing
Attended Brighton University
Lives in Etchingham,Sussex
1,553 followers|214,166 views
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Anthony Burke

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Salehurst walk
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Bodiam Castle in the winter
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simply awesome. which place is this?
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A message from the Queen.

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except North Dakota, which she does not fancy).

Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

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1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').

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2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.'

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3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

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4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.

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5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

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6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

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7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.

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8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

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9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

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10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialect in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.

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11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies). 

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12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.

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13.. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

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14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).

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15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.

God Save the Queen!

PS: Only share this with friends who have a good sense of humour (NOT humor)!
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+matanuska high ok,thanx
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Anthony Burke

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Ha..ha so true...what do you think?
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Anthony Burke

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Bodiam Cricket Club under water. I guess our fixture there this year will be on a "sticky" wicket :(
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Water, water everywhere
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Wintry sunset over the Rother Valley and Bewl Water from Flimwell.
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A break in the rain.
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Ticehurst walk in East Sussex.
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Hope you are staying dry Anthony, have a great 2014
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People
In his circles
2,536 people
Have him in circles
1,553 people
John Lepore's profile photo
Ian Link's profile photo
Andrew Thompson's profile photo
Work
Occupation
Chief Technology Marketing Officer, Partner,Consultant & Digital Coach at WSI
Skills
Tech, Project Management, Programme Management, Digital Marketing Strategy, Digital Consulting, SEO, Mobile Marketing, Content Marketing, Financial Services Consulting, Web Strategy, Digital Coaching and Training
Employment
  • WSI Digital Marketing
    Chief Technology Marketing Officer, Consultant and Digital Coach. Passionate about New Technology and Innovative Marketing Strategies. I help businesses grow leads,build brand and communicate better with prospects and clients. I post about Business, Tech, Marketing. I have a passion for Sport and all things Asturias, Northern Spain, present
  • Hewitt Associates
    European Tech Leader
  • Xchanging
    Head of Systems Development
  • Markel
    Head of Projects
  • QBE
    Programme Director
  • Chubb Insurance
    Programme Director
  • Axa
    IT Director
  • American Express
    Project Manager
  • C-E Power Systems
    Project Manager
  • Chamber of Commerce - Oviedo
    Coach
Places
Map of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has lived
Currently
Etchingham,Sussex
Previously
Eccles,Lancashire - Salamanca,Spain - New York - Basle - Paris - Johannesburg - Auckland - Melbourne - Oviedo,Asturias - Cardiff - Aviles,Asturias - Gijon,Asturias - Cincinnati - Madrid,Spain
Contact Information
Home
Phone
01580819529
Mobile
07917707347
Email
Work
Phone
01580819529
Email
AIM
Skype:anthony.burke9
Story
Tagline
Anthony Burke is Chief Technology Marketing Officer and Digital Coach, Social Media & Tech, Mad about Sport
Introduction
Anthony Burke is a Digital Marketing Consultant and Digital Coach using internet and social technology to help companies build their brand, get more sales leads and communicate better with customers and prospects. Anthony Burke has over 30 years IT and Business Development leadership experience in major corporations in the Construction, Financial Services, Insurance, HR and Outsourcing sectors.  Anthony Burke runs his own Digital Marketing Agency and that is associated with WSI.

Anthony Burke is a sports fanatic and spends most of his free time staying active and playing as many sports as he can - especially rugby, cricket, windsurfing, gym, running, cycling - well anything really!  Believe it or not but I also enjoy gardening and reading Spanish and South American literature.

Our WSI Digital Marketing Agency is committed to improving the profitability of our customers through the use of leading-edge Internet technologies, delivered by knowledgeable and service-oriented Digital Marketing Consultants. As more businesses realise the importance of the Internet to their continued success and growth, WSI is ready to serve their needs with affordable and innovative Digital Marketing solutions. WSI is the world leader in Digital Marketing.

Headquartered in Toronto, Canada, WSI has been developing profitable Internet Marketing Solutions for businesses of all shapes and sizes since the mid 1990s. Our global network of over 1500 certified Internet Consultants in 87 countries is the largest of its kind. 

When you work with WSI you can be sure you’re working with a leading edge company that not only contributes and incorporates the best practices in its field, but also sets new benchmarks and raises the bar for others to follow.

You can see my full profile here:

http://gplus.to/anthonymburke

 

Bragging rights
International Sports Personality of the Year in 1984
Education
  • Brighton University
    Information Systems, 1985 - 1986
  • Cardiff University
    History & Spanish, 1972 - 1976
  • Salford Grammar School
    O & A Levels, 1964 - 1972
Basic Information
Gender
Male
Other names
Known as Ant in England, El Burko and Toni in Spain
Anthony Burke's +1's are the things they like, agree with, or want to recommend.
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Great breakfasts and a fantastic place to sit outside and admire the view when the weather is kind. Reasonably priced and because it is popular it can get a bit full so they do get rushed off their feet especially if there is a fishing competition on.
Public - 5 months ago
reviewed 5 months ago
Great meeting room facilities and easy place to get to if you are in the M25/Croydon area and are looking for somewhere to hold a business meeting.
Public - 5 months ago
reviewed 5 months ago
Great place for IT education,networking and you can work in the workbenches. Rubbish printer let's the place down!
Public - a year ago
reviewed a year ago
Muy buena sidra
Quality: ExcellentFacilities: Very goodService: Excellent
Public - a year ago
reviewed a year ago
17 reviews
Map
Map
Map
Was pleasantly surprised at how good this was. It is well organised and structured inside so that you get the best from a visit.
Public - 5 months ago
reviewed 5 months ago
Muy buena sidra y ambiente de sidreria.
Atmosphere: ExcellentDecor: ExcellentService: Excellent
Public - a year ago
reviewed a year ago
Buen sitio y Buenos precios
Public - a year ago
reviewed a year ago