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Andrew Lyons



Andrew Lyons

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Orbiting the sun at about 93 million miles
is a little blue planet
and this planet is run 
by a bunch of monkeys.

Now, the monkeys don't think of
themselves as monkeys.
They don't even think of themselves as animals
And they love to list all the things 
that they think 
separate them from the animals:
Opposable thumbs, self awareness . . .
They'll use words like 
Homo Erectus and Australopithecus. 

You say Toe-mate-o, 
I say Toe-motto.
They're animals all right. 
They're monkeys.
Monkeys with high-speed digital fiber optic technology, 
but monkeys nevertheless.

I mean, they're clever. 
You've got to give them that.
The Pyramids, skyscrapers, phantom jets, 
the Great Wall of China.
That's all some pretty impressive shit . . .
for a bunch of monkeys.

Monkeys whose brains have evolved 
to such an unmanageable size 
that it's now pretty much impossible 
for them stay happy for any length of time

In fact, they're the only animals
that think they're supposed to be happy.
All of the other animals can just be.

But it's not that simple for the monkeys.

You see, the monkeys are cursed with consciousness
and so the monkeys are afraid.
So the monkeys worry.
The monkeys worry about everything,
but mostly about what all the other monkeys think.
Because the monkeys desperately want to fit in 
with the other monkeys.

Which is hard to do, 
because a lot of the monkeys seem to hate each other.
This what really separates them from the other animals.
These monkeys hate. 
They hate monkeys that are different.
Monkeys from different places, 
monkeys who are a different color-

You see, the monkeys feel alone.
All six billion of them.

Some of the monkeys pay another monkey 
to listen to their problems.

Because the monkeys want answers
and the monkeys don't want to die.
So the monkeys make up gods 
and then they worship them.
Then the monkeys argue 
over whose made-up god is better.
Then the monkeys get really pissed off
and this is usually when the monkeys decide 
that it's a good time to start killing each other.

So the monkeys wage war.
The monkeys make hydrogen bombs.
The monkeys have got their whole fucking planet 
wired up to explode.
The monkeys just can't help it.

Some of the monkeys play to a sold out crowd . . . 
of other monkeys.

The monkeys make trophies 
and then they give them to each other. 
Like it means something.

Some of the monkeys think 
that they have it all worked out. 
Some of the monkeys read Nietzsche
The monkeys argue about Nietzsche
without given any consideration to the fact 
that Nietzsche
was just another fucking monkey.

The monkeys make plans.
The monkeys fall in love.
The monkeys fuck 
and then they make more monkeys.

The monkeys make music 
and then the monkeys DANCE
Dance, monkeys, dance.

The monkeys make a hell of a lot of noise.
Exhibit A
Monkey making noise.
And when he's done, 
five other randomly selected monkeys 
will rate this monkey's noises 
on a scale from one to ten.
At the end of the night, 
they add all the numbers up 
to see which monkey made the best noises.

As you can see . . .
these are some fucked up monkeys.

These monkeys are at once the ugliest 
and most beautiful creatures on the planet.

And the monkeys don't want to be monkeys.
They want to be something else.
But they're not.
Peter Goncharouk's profile photoTiffanygcddqwe Haymaker's profile photoAndrew Lyons's profile photo
+Tiffanygcddqwe Haymaker aah... Yeah....hi
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This quote is a modern translation of someone else's recollection of what a third party reportedly said over eighty years ago. - Snopes
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We have had a couple of days this week like this.
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this weeks weather , well over the weekend and prior was erratic and inconsistent.
rain sun
today started cold but sun came and ruined that
i want a never ending half arsed winter thanks.
I am boycotting summer this year.
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I already posted this one many years ago. This small monitor lizard is fairly common in the central desert RIDGE-TAILED MONITOR
(Varanus acanthurus)

As we were driving home I saw this reflection moving across the road and wasn't sure what it was. We pulled over and found this lizard with its head stuck on a beer can. We couldn't get it out on the spot so we took it home and cut it out with some pliers.
Jason Phelan's profile photoLala lololvulvanoodlesfork's profile photo
=( poor thing
if it weren't for you it'd be deaded
Good stuff !
Littering is BAD !!!!
fucking VB
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US Air Force C17 Globe Master. We have four of these but they are all based in Amberly Air base just out of Brisbane.
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Top end defence communications and signals interception station, just out of Darwin.
Wise Snake's profile photoJason Phelan's profile photo
"Top end defence communications and signals interception station"....
That'd have been my second guess. My First would have been a remote outback station with foxtel, school of the air and satellite NBN. 😆
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Incidents of unruly passengers on planes are increasing, and more effective deterrents are needed to tackle the problem, a global airline trade group said Wednesday.
Incidents of unruly passengers on planes are increasing, and more effective deterrents are needed to tackle the problem, a global airline trade group said Wednesday.
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Imagine if we could get our presidential candidates to answer a bunch of questions about science and how it affects the economy, the environment, foreign policy, and so on and then have a bunch of qualified, highly trained scientists and engineers grade their answers. Well, +Scientific American did just that and it's INCREDIBLY REVEALING. Some of them, many of them, actually, have absolutely no clue about some really critical issues, and that's kind of scary.

h/t +Christian Nalletamby
Scientific American evaluates responses from Clinton, Trump, Johnson and Stein to 20 questions
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Too stupid to know how stupid you are!
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Sarah R
God love him
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Ahum yeah.... Iran...
+Milad Farjadian
Women resist unequal gendered social expectations about virginity and premarital sex through the medical practice of hymenoplasty. Read more in this article from Medical Anthropology Quarterly:
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Well, I don't see it as a resistance.

The ones born in 1970s, well, they were virgins, got married and done.

Those born in early 1980s, almost the same deal, but huge rate of anal sex.

Those who were born in late 1980s, lose their virginity and they go under that hymenoplasty, cheap surgery done underground.

Those born in early 1990s, simply don't care and they are willing to have sex, and they have faith in hymenoplasty. Also, boys of that age don't expect much of virginity, cuz sex is common among both sexes of that age.

I believe it is almost the case for those born in late 1990s, and... There is no marriage happening. Or even if marriages happen, they won't last long, introducing more non-virgins to the market.

But, the whole thing is the story of metropolises, and not small towns and stuff. Those who come to the metropolises (like students) usually do the hymenoplasty.

Looking at it now, I see what sort of stupidity is in work, for a decade or two, it was sodomizing, and now it is something the youth don't care about. Families do, but who cares? Ya can tell a lie or two, can't ya? The marriages won't last that long.

Those who stay virgin and are in their early ages, like their early 20s, get a lot of gold coins and stuff from the groom's family, as "mahr". As they age and still stay virgin, their values go lower.

Skimmers know the plot... from 16 to 25, bang as many guys as ya can, don't mix the circles, bang different neighborhoods which are not near yours, then hymenoplasty, and then ya are as good as new, ya can get like 1k+ gold coins from the guy.

If anything went wrong, ya can claim the guy forced ya to lose virginity, add some cries and the poor guy would believe ya.

This could be different. Deception could be forgotten. But, stupidity doesn't let that happen.

I am not advocating guys here. They have this premarital sex, as well. But guys here pay a lot of money to the girl, for what the girl was offering to guys for free, before marriage.
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This is a kind of Click Beetle. I have searched for some time to try and identify which type but there are some many varieties.
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