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"Some people are way too into coffee..." Anderson doesn't drink coffee, but now he has another option - and he doesn't "have to feel trashy about it." Watch:   
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Try some Oregon Chai.  Chai tea latte.  Wonderful stuff.  Much better then coffee.
Tea.  Tea has always been the alternative to coffee - hot or cold.  Sounds like someone made some crap coffee for you AC. Sorry :(
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