Nowadays, as an American living in the Philippines, I'm frequently asked, "Why don't you speak Tagalog?" To make a long story short, I explain that my White American mother strongly refused to allow my Filipino dad to teach me the Tagalog language. And, that was only the beginning!
The American Tradition, as I learned it from my mom
During my first 13 years of my life, my Filipino dad was serving in the United States Navy. My White American mom raised me at home. My mother punished me by hitting me with kitchen utensils and rubbing soap in my mouth when I said bad words. My mom threw away my comic books. My mom liked to keep me locked in my bedroom, with the lights off and the drapes closed. My mom constantly reminded me that I fell off the dressing table when I was just a baby. Every day, even when there is no school, I was required to wake up early, like 6AM or so. This is how I grew up in America.
Once I started working at age 15, I had to give ALL of my earnings to my mother; she told me it is "rent money". My mom never allowed me to have any money in my pocket and she constantly yelled at my dad for buying me things. Every time I received a paycheck, I had to cash it out and give 100% to my mom. My mom told me that if I don't give her my money, then I can not live at home. That is the American Tradition as I learned it from my mom.
At age 22, I was forced out of my parents' home by my White American mom, regardless that my Filipino dad's strong disapproval. This happened because I stopped giving my mom 100% of my income and I wanted to buy the things I wanted. My mom demanded I give her 100% of my income, immediately, or else she will call the police to evict me. My mom told me that she's been waiting for me to move out when I became 18 years old.
Once I had moved out, when I asked my parents for money, my White American mom constantly reminded me, "the unbilical cord has been cut a long time ago..." to emphasize she's not obligates to help me in any way. My mom was always angry at my Filipino dad for always helping me, and my parents' arguments became a daily thing. That is how I learned the American Tradition.
My Mom is HAPPY when I am Homeless!
Twice in America, I was homeless. I experienced what it's like to stay in a shelter and visit food banks. I experienced what it's like to have so-called friends, whom sided with my mom, to not help me. My Filipino dad helped me because he is a FILIPINO. As for my White American mom, she kept on telling me, "Good For You!"
When I asked my parents if I can stay at home, immediately my mom demands I pay "rent" up front. She knew I had no money and did not care! She always reminded me, "the umbilical cord was cut a long time ago." She also constantly told me, "you don't live at home anymore son, we are no longer obligated to help you."
2006: My Exit from the USA...
American Tradition SUCKS! My White American mom refuses to listen to me, unless I give her all of my money. Friends of my White American mom think of me as DIRT. Living in America as a Filipino American person is HELL. All of my friends betrayed me because they sided with my mother.
Philippines... My Utopia!
Before I moved out of the USA, my mother told her friends that I'll be back [in the USA]. This was in 2006. I don't like the American Tradition that my White American mom taught me. In October 2006, I moved out of the USA. Once the airplane took off, I felt relieved that my White American mom can no longer torture me with her American Traditions!
2008: Proof my White American mom HATES Me!
In March 2008, I made a brief visit to USA and stayed at my parent home, per request of my Filipino dad. Upon arrival, I felt extreme hatred against me from my White American mom, as if she was the Devil. Arguments between my mom and I continued, hourly. When I ran out of the house to stay in a hotel, my White American mom threatened to throw my belongings (my luggage from Philippines) into the street. Within a week after my arrival, I told my Filipino dad to send me back to the Philippines. At the airport, for my flight back to Philippines, I didn't even look at my mom; in fact, I acted as if she didn't exist.
2009: My Mom is HAPPY that we're flooded by Typhoon Ondoy!
When I was able to call my dad in the USA, during the aftermath of Typhoon Ondoy, my mom told me, "Good For You!" She did NOT care that we were flooded out! According to the local news reporter that talk to my White American mom, my mom was "happy" that we were victimized by Typhoon Ondoy.
2009-2011: My White American Mom attempts to Entrap Me!
Being disabled, I am on disability income. My mom never worked in her entire life. Whenever I talked to my parents through Skype, my mom always asked the questions, "Are you working now?", "Do you have a job?", "How much money are you making?" She knew my disability income would be garnished if I was employed. For this reason, I have to wiretap my own calls to my parents, especially to my mom.
2013: My Mom continues to express her HATRED against me!
With the help of her online boyfriend, my White American mom got my Social Security Disability Income (SSDI) garnished by Federal Aid. About four months salary was garnished. I had to plea to President Obama's website for a resolution. An investigation later revealed that my mom was the one that claimed I was working in the Philippines.
Nowadays, my mom forces my Filipino dad to speak only English, even among other Filipinos. She says, "In America, YOU MUST SPEAK ENGLISH!" If any of my dad's Filipino relatives (in USA & Philippines) calls my dad on the phone, my mom demands my dad to speak English and to tell her what the conversation(s) was about. My White American mom does NOT want to see any calls from the Philippines; she presumes that calls are from me. If I leave voice mail messages on my parents' phone line, my mom will delete them.
I wish my Mother-in-Law was my Real Mother!
My mother-in-law, the mother of my Filipino wife, is compasionate and hospitable just like my Filipino dad. I have been living here for over 7 years, and I call my mother-in-law, "mommy".
Anyone else have similar experiences with their mom?
Hopefully, I am not the only one...