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Alana Hunt, Psychotherapist and Trainer
51 followers -
Getting to happier. Stress. Success.
Getting to happier. Stress. Success.

51 followers
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You walk into a room, see someone and make assumptions ... assumptions about them and assumptions about what they are thinking about you. And you tend to act as if you're assumptions are right. What if they aren't?
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As Trump settles in and you reflect back on how did we get here, with Trump, and how to explain the social media discussions on the Women's March, think about this"...each of us have something called a range of acceptable behavior. Now, sometimes we're too strong; we push ourselves too much. ... But sometimes we're too weak. ... And this range of acceptable behaviors -- when we stay within our range, we're rewarded. When we step outside that range, we get punished in a variety of ways."

"And the key thing is that when we have lots of power, our range is very wide. We have a lot of leeway in how to behave. But when we lack power, our range narrows. We have very little leeway. The problem is that when our range narrows, that produces something called the low-power double bind. The low-power double bind happens when, if we don't speak up, we go unnoticed, but if we do speak up, we get punished."

Adam Galinsky, a professor at Columbia Business School, walks us through how to expand our range by expanding our power:

1. Be a mama bear. That is, advocate for yourself by taking the perspective of others - this lets you figure out what another person might want ... let your imagination soar when you think of the possibilities in getting what you want when you know what somebody else wants. And if you advocate well for others, you get some strong allies and your likeability increases! You see your power and so do others.

3. Offer flexible options. This brings assertiveness and likeability.

3. Ask for advice about your accomplishments. Now you're promoting yourself with humility. This ups your competence and makes you more likeable. And if you are more likeable and competent, it is easier for people to become more committed to you. Plus they feel competent. Who doesn't want to feel competent and be around people who help them feel competent?

4. Show evidence of your expertise - even when your expertise is work in progress - by tapping into your passion. Try this out with a friend by asking them to tell you about their passion. Notice how they are as they talk and notice how you are responding to them as you listen. It is a lot easier to listen to somebody speaking with passion than to listen to somebody going through the motions.
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When I was younger ... many many New Years ago ... my sister used to roar with laughter at how I would see images in the lines in our wood panelling (I told you it was many many New Years ago!). Admittedly, I would sometimes be positioned oddly to get the lines lining up just so to bring the lines to life.
This artist brings shadows to life.
Happy New Year #perspective #create #thoughtsarentfacts
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"This should have been a moment of sublime celebration. But it wasn’t. I can’t remember the words that came out of my mouth, but I do remember, clear as day, the words that ran through my mind: Who do you think you are? You don’t belong here. No one here thinks you deserve this. Hurry up and get off the stage.

So I did." - America Ferrera

Learn how America changed her story, her present and her future. Maybe you will do it too. Or maybe you already have. #goodbyeinnercritic #hellocompassion

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Feeling overwhelmed is so undesirable - to state the obvious. Figuring out next steps can seem like you are coming up against a brick wall. Here are some ideas to help you plan your work days and hopefully cut the overwhelm down to a dull roar ... or better!
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This is an inside look at how an officer helps people with thoughts of suicide on the Golden Gate Bridge. The link has some heart-heavy details about suicide attempts that may be too heart-heavy to bear. Read the link with caution. The below excerpt emphasizes the importance of communicating care, respect and empathy. Vital skills in any relationship.

"As cops, you're taught to take charge of situations. You get in there, handle it, move on. But with mental illness cases or negotiations, you calm down. You need to take your time and develop rapport. What I started doing was walking up to these folks, keeping a bit of distance, and asking their permission to approach. "Can I talk with you a little bit?" To have a cop ask their permission always surprised them and set us on a good path—most of the interactions people have with police is of us giving orders. Once I got permission, I tried to get below them. If they could look down on me, that was a plus. So I'd kneel down and get them to look through the rails at me.

In the job, you use active listening skills, open body language like not crossing your hands or arms. You never ask questions that begin with "why," because their answers could point to blame. It's very important not to judge, to let them tell their story as long as they want to keep talking. You say things just to let them know you're paying attention, not to interrupt. You need to pay attention. It's a lot of work, you're tired in the end." - Kevin Briggs

#isOKtoTALK #suicide #ASIST #learntheskillstohelpsavealife
https://squareup.com/store/alanahunttraining
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Monday. A good time to rethink your approach to self-care before another week gets away from you. My suicide intervention training workshops have taught me many things. One of those things is the fact that we sometimes assume we know what self-care is for us because we have an idea about what it means for other people. And sometimes we have no idea what self-care looks like for anyone. Caring for yourself socially, physically, emotionally and mentally is not automatic. Maybe now is a good time to build more of that caring into your life. #quit #talk #askforhelp #basicneeds #selfcare
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Stigma gets in the way of talking about suicide and can be a huge factor in preventing suicide and healing after it. It makes it more difficult to help to change, save or shift lives. This article speaks to the impact of suicide on mental health practitioners. It extends to the impact of that loss on people thinking about suicide or thinking about helping somebody thinking about suicide. #suicideTALKissafeTALK #itsOKtoTALK #ASIST #RuOK
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Today ... tomorrow ... this weekend ... think about your connections and how you might want to take a step towards shifting those relationships so you don't feel as if you are doing all the work or are alone or are responsible for anybody else's happiness or ... [you can fill in this blank to fit your reality]. And if you do feel this way, notice the stories you are telling yourself about why this might be the case. Maybe that will help catapult you into changing the direction of your story. #socialanxiety #relationships #rebalance #leadyourbestlife
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