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Adam Avitable
Works at Avitable.com
Attended Washington & Lee University
Lives in Orlando
1,876 followers|369,719 views
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Adam Avitable

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That thing is about as loud as my Keurig and half as sexy.
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Adam Avitable

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Online dating can be terrible as a man. For those of my Google+ friends who are married, like +DENNIS N. DUCE , +Kristin Drysdale , +Krithika Rangarajan , and others, just be happy that you don't have to experience anything like this!
"So I do have to say this," she said, in a conversation that had been entirely innocuous and normal up to that exact moment, "If you do get lucky tonight, you would be my first and only white dick....
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#ROFLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL   - hahahaha...I would proclaim otherwise, but the grass is always greener on the other side ;) 
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I have been neglecting my Google+ people for a while. I need to get better at that, but between Twitter and Facebook, I just get overwhelmed!

Anyway, to all of those Google Plus friends who have any interest in my comedy or tell me that they'd like to come out to a show when I'm performing, I've got one in Orlando this Friday.

I'm featuring for Dustin Diamond, who played Screech in "Saved By The Bell". He and I are doing two shows Friday night, and I'd love for you to join us!

Use promo code AVITABLEROCKS to get 50% off tickets, and I hope to see you there! 

To those of you who don't live in the Orlando area, comment if you want me to let you know when I'm performing near you!
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+Joe Sidote I use Hootsuite to post to Twitter but I also don't want to post the same thing across all platforms. I like each post to be at least a little different. 
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Adam Avitable

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I'd like to see the CDC and physicians nationwide do a massive overhaul of the outdated use of the BMI scale. It's woefully inaccurate.
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Agreed; height vs. weight is a terrible way to accurately measure muscle mass vs. fat in a human being. After all, most bodybuilders are very much overweight but have very low body fat percentages. Other metrics are far more accurate (though not as robust as Hydrostatic Body Composition Testing), including the Harris-Benedict and Mifflin-St. Jeor formulas for basal metabolic rate, the Navy Tape, Jackson/Pollock 3,4,7, Durnin and Parrillo methods for body fat estimation, etc.

However, this doesn't change the fact that we as a society have generally come to accept that higher body fat measurements/obesity as perfectly fine when in fact, they can be detrimental to longevity and overall health. We shouldn't keep confusing self-confidence with ignorance of human health standards that have been tirelessly researched & established by the scientific community. Society may agree that big is beautiful, but you'd be hard pressed to find science that would advise obesity as a healthy lifestyle. 
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+Kristin Drysdale +Carolyn Capern +Greg Trujillo +Krithika Rangarajan  - I expect to see your Avitable purity results!
 
About seven years ago, I made an Avitable purity test that was designed to see if you were pure or if you were Avitable. Well, seven years ago I had only had sex with one person, didn't drink, and had not engaged in all types of fun activities. So I decided it was time for a revamp.

Go take the new Avitable Purity Test and comment on the post or below with how Avitable you are!
How Avitable Are You? There are so many purity tests out there that subjectively decide whether you should avoid walking into churches
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Standards? Whats that?
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Adam Avitable

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We're live. Come watch!
 
Bill and Ammon (+Bill Slawski  and +Ammon Johns   ) reprise their role as the "Wyld Stallyns" of SEO, with bodacious babe +Kristin Drysdale helping wrangle comments, and stop them chasing squirrels.  (okay, a more realistic goal: prevent them chasing too many squirrels).  +Terry Van Horne joins us again to release more squirrels when Kristin isn't looking.

(No squirrels are harmed in the making of this program)


About Bill and Ammon's Bogus Hangout
This is not a polished, planned and scripted event.  This is a casual hangout with old friends and new, shared with all.  Somewhere around the halfway point, we'll post the link for anyone who wishes to come and join us (space permitting) allowing us to meet even more old and new friends.

The idea of pre-planning, a set topic, or even simply knowing who will be on the show this week?  All totally bogus.

Free Air-Guitars to all attendees (exact model and colour may vary with imagination)

Our general style is to issue uninvited invitations, naming folks we think might like a chat, without asking first if they are available (or willing). 

This week our uninvited invitations are going out to +Ben Fisher +Gina Fiedel +Adam Avitable +Heath Patterson +James Morris +Doc Sheldon and +Lany Sullivan.   Of course, these are typically uninvited and unexpected invitations to those named, so any or all of them may be unavailable.  That's just another part of the chaos.

As ever, we'll open up the invitations to all for any empty seats once the hangout has begun.  Feel free to jump in and not only join the conversation, but help steer it.

We have no idea yet who will actually turn up, and that's how we like it.  
Excellent!

#BeExcellent   #bogushangout   
This Hangout On Air is hosted by Bill and Ammon's Bogus Hangout. The live video broadcast will begin soon.
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Bill and Ammon's Bogus Hangout #36
Tue, August 25, 3:00 PM
Hangouts On Air - Broadcast for free

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Adam Avitable

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I'm a day early, but Father's Day inspired me to write about my dad, a man who would have been just as happy if I'd never been born. And I can't fault him for a second for that!

http://www.avitable.com/2015/06/20/oh-fadda-my-fadda/
  My father would have been just as happy if he and my mother never had children. Don't let this thought evoke shock, horror, o
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Adam Avitable

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Sex with strippers, stand-up comedy, using your writing to get laid, and comic books, plus ghost hunting and more! Check out my appearance in this episode of Comcastro's podcast!
Comcastro podcast talks about Interviews with Dead Celebrities with Stand-Up Comedian Adam Heath Avitable.
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Adam Avitable

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I'm online in a few minutes - log in and join in the conversation!
 
Join us as we talk about Respectfulness on the Softer Side of Business HOA Season of #CoreValues    

Respectfulness What does it mean to be respectful. How can we be more respectful in Business? How do you use respect to grow your organization. We will be talking about the past, present, and future of respect on this weeks Network Round Table. The first few viewers that wish to join in the panel and be live during the roundtable discussion will get a personal invite. If you want to help +Adam Avitable talk about respectfulness let us know in the comments below.

Friday, March 27th 2015
9:02 am MST (11:02 am EST, 10:02 am CST, and 8:02 am PST)

This Weeks Guests:
This Week's #PlusOneSuperHero      +Adam Avitable 
This Week's #PlusOneSideKick      +Adam Avitable  

This Week's #CoHostOne  is      +Kristin Drysdale 
This Week's #CoHostTwo  is      +Kristin Drysdale or who ever joins in the discussion panel.

Mobile Link: http://goo.gl/y41Rb0
Watch on Google+: http://goo.gl/6nW82c
Watch on YouTube: http://goo.gl/y41Rb0
Learn More on http://.GPlus.Training's blog: http://goo.gl/0C1NCs

Network Round Table is back for the Season of Values!
 
Core values are as vital as goals to our success. If we are a #solopreneur   #SmallBusinessOwner   #entrepreneur  or part of one of the  #fortune500companies  we need core values to help us chart our course. Season three of NWRT will be all about the values we hold to and how we can uncover them to get a clearer picture of where we are going.
 
Dennis used the Personal Values cards from +The Leadership Challenge to create this list of Core Values. If you want your own card deck go to http://goo.gl/t6Jryo

So  #SuperTroopers    keep the comments coming and help us create a show that will educate you about each of the 23 values we have selected to cover this season. 
 
Respectfulness
 
Is Respectfulness one of your core values? If not could you benefit by making it one? If it already is why did you choose this to be one of your core values.

Get the conversation started on the event page, and of course, post any questions you'd like to have answered during the show!

This season our #TeamTroupers  includes (in no particular order):
+Gail Harris +Elaine Nieberding +Leslie Wagstaff-Wilson +Katrina Pfannkuch +Nora Whalen +Shawndra Higgins  +Craig Calvert +Gina Fiedel +Jessica Maynard +Krithika Rangarajan +Marilyn Moore +toni holder and +Aaron Segal 

Handling tech...+DENNIS N. DUCE and the teams #PlusOneSidekick for the season is +Kristin Drysdale 

Check out upcoming or past episodes:

Network Roundtable "Friday Show" - http://goo.gl/0WHRy6

#NWRT  #gombocme     #CoreValues  
This Hangout On Air is hosted by Network Round Table: The Softer Side of Business. The live video broadcast will begin soon.
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Respectfulness in Business with #PlusOneSuperHero Adam Avitable on NWRT #CoreValues
Fri, March 27, 11:02 AM
Hangouts On Air - Broadcast for free

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Adam Avitable

1 Self Portrait A Week  - 
 
Rough and gritty on a dark and gloomy day.
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Have him in circles
1,876 people
matt sliver's profile photo
Laurin Evans's profile photo
Evan Ashenhurst's profile photo
Tanvir Sajed's profile photo
Planet Honda's profile photo
rohit kumar's profile photo
eyob nigussie's profile photo
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Work
Occupation
Comedian
Skills
Humor, Comedy, Writing
Employment
  • Avitable.com
    Humorist, 1994 - present
Places
Map of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has lived
Currently
Orlando
Previously
Daytona Beach - Los Angeles, CA - Saint Louis, MO - Lexington, VA - Braintree, MA - Ormond Beach, FL
Links
Contributor to
Story
Tagline
Humorist. Nudist. Misandrist. Cunning Linguist.
Introduction
Adam Heath Avitable is an attorney, a stand-up comedian, a humorist, and an unsolicited underwear model. His book, Interviews with Dead Celebrities, was listed as one of Amazon.com's top 10 humor books, but his mom still won't read it. His site, Avitable.com, has been called "a place where tact goes to die" and "the dirty little secret of the Internet". His comedy is enjoyed by audiences of all ages, as long as they have sharp minds, sharper wits, and an appreciation for fat hairy guys who tell jokes on stage. 

Adam has performed at the Orlando Improv, lectured on "Humor in Writing" for the University of Central Florida, spoken at numerous conferences about writing and humor, and worked with entertainers from Bobcat Goldthwait to Bobby Slayton. 
Bragging rights
As a Google Glass Explorer, I plan on taking the technology to terrible, evil, awful depths.
Education
  • Washington & Lee University
    East Asian Studies, 1990 - 1994
  • Washington University
    Juris Doctorate, 1994 - 1998
  • Spruce Creek High School
    International Baccalaureate, 1990 - 1994
  • Christian Academy of Learning
    1980 - 1990
Basic Information
Gender
Male
Birthday
January 26
Relationship
Single
I have used this firm multiple times. Way too many times. Like, man, I wish I didn't have a foot that is apparently drawn to the gravity of the center of the Earth times. They usually do a fantastic job. There have been one or two times where I felt disappointed in the outcome because I was completely in the right, and would have appreciated a little more personal vigor, but for the value, I can't complain. This firm works hard, the staff is fantastic, and I completely recommend them to everyone and anyone who may have the occasion to get tickets in Central Florida.
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Public - a year ago
reviewed a year ago
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