An oldie but goodie: "All human beings perform unilateral and selfish acts," Lederer and Jackson write in The Mirages of Marriage. "To do so is not always bad; it sometimes can be wholesome if the individual knows what is happening. But under no circumstances can these acts be regarded as loving, and the first requirement for a workable marriage is to live and relate on the basis of reality, not of myths, obsolete and meaningless traditions, and self-deceit."

The construct of matrimony as we know it no longer fits: we're more individualist, more isolated, more mobile -- and, yes, maybe more ADD, more demanding in terms of instant gratification than we were 40 years ago when Lederer and Jackson first pointed out that the institution was obsolete.

So what's the answer? How do you make it work?
Shared publiclyView activity